不开心的一个星期

隔了这么久，要写部落格了。准确来说是因为心事。

有的时候我真的很讨厌你，可是又很舍不得。生你气的时候明明告诉了自己见到面不可以笑，要严肃，可是最后呢？还是过不了自己那关，看到你就会想笑。你说我很爱发脾气，如果不是我的谁，我会对你发脾气吗？我会在意那么多事情吗？你说你会尽量改，我不需要你改什么，因为我知道我也有不对的时候。但是我真的很希望你可以关心我，不是在我面前关心其他人，你有想过我的感受吗？你说我喜欢翻旧账，你知道那是我心里的一根刺吗？插得很深。你说有问题就提出来，我提了一样的问题多少遍了，有变吗？说到我都不想说了。我跟你说过的，请不要让我觉得累了，不想理你了，有时真的觉得很累。

这次你生日这个星期，你不知道我很生气，更多的是伤心，很难过，很失望。让我有了一个决定，我不会再庆祝什么了，不管什么节日。对不起，我放弃了，我不知道可以保持多久，只能尽量。我很努力让自己快乐，可是只要一想到这件事我就变得心事重重。你生日前一晚，我已经很不舒服了，你不懂，硬着头皮按电脑拖到12点打电话给你，想亲口跟你说生日快乐。只有四个字罢了，都那么难。结果你还问我要不要打回给我？你只顾着跟你朋友喝茶，有想过我吗？我从本来那兴奋又期待的感觉不用一分钟就被你消灭了，变成的只有失望，难过。你说很吵所以电话放静音，你跟我出去的时候呢？电话响不停，不然就是玩游戏。

上次爬山黑青，我说脚趾痛，肿了，你说什么？这么夸张四个字就没有了。第二次爬山，我脚受伤，你看到就讲“酱罢了是吗？“。那些不是刺，是刀，狠狠的看我的心。心有多痛，你懂吗？我说了，你道歉，然后呢？又忘了。今天你就讲回我中蚊症的时候。”是谁晚上不睡觉在你去医院？“，”是谁做工还跑去看你?“。 所以你觉得你不应该载我去医院的？如果不是因为家里没人可以载，家里没车，我要叫你吗？需要打给你吗？那好啊，我以后不管大病小病什么事都不用告诉你就好了。以后对你，我只有yes和no，没有其他了，你满意了吗？开心了吗？这也是我能做到的罢了。当然我识做的，别人面前我会当作什么事都没就好了。

讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！讨厌鬼！
猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！猪头！
=P  =P  =P  =P  =P  =P  =P  =P  =P  =P  =P  =P  =P  =P  =P  =P  =P  =P  =P  =P  =P  =P  =P  =P  =P
大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！大坏蛋！

爸，生日快乐！

亲爱的爸爸，生日快乐！祝你不管在哪里都一样幸福快乐。我们永远爱你，永远想你  <3 p="">

下乡后的第一学期 =)

          新的学期开始了，有喜当然也有悲。开心的是，辛辛苦苦准备的下乡营已经结束了。4天3夜的关爱成长营也落幕了。从团大到筹备营，再到下乡，很开心认识到了很多朋友。虽然我比较迟才出现，但是大家还是对我很好，在此要跟大家说声谢谢，爱你们哦! 为了这一次的下乡，我们都没有回家，即使是住在很靠近的也一样留在Setapak。大家真的辛苦了。我学会了几首手语，歌也很好听；还学会了彩色，还要从深到浅，真不是开玩笑的。舞台背景也很美，心型的设计和里面的机关也不是假的，都是我们一心一意，用心良苦制作出来的。第七届真的很棒。在礼让的培英华小的小学生也很可爱。虽然遇到了一些问题，但是还是解决了。很高兴认识到了你们这班活泼可爱又感性的小朋友，我们还会再见面的哦，到时可别忘了我这个姐姐。
 
      至于悲呢，是跟学业有关。上个学期的考试并不理想，这个学期得重新拿过。虽然对于这两科已经在意料之中，但是还是希望会及格。所以决定了这个学期不在踊跃于活动，多专注在课业上了。刘咏琪，你行的！！！或许有人会以为是因为下乡而不及格，但是那并不是最主要的原因，主因其实是因为我自己的不专心、对某科目的不热忱和缺乏练习。检讨过了，相信这一次我可以的。加油吧！！！

A Great Start for My 2nd Sem ^^

          新学期开始已经有两个礼拜了，功课渐渐在增加。到现在都还没想好功课的内容题目, 暂时不想了。这两天参与了营会,很不错的经验。最重要的，认识了挺多新朋友，而且还记到名字和样子。虽然一些gamemaster还是记不到不过算了吧, 相信会有机会再认识的。第一天，明明说是8点20要到9点开车，结果搞到9点半才出发。害我怕迟到跑去搭taxi，白白多花RM4。司机又不会去，走错路，左兜右兜才到达目的地。很多活动都被推迟了。晚上的night jungle trekking差点因为下雨而泡汤了，不过最后还是有走。有不一样的感觉，但是又有点闷，只是跟着绳子这样爬什么都看不到。早上起来吃了早餐就要去走泥潭，其实是obstacle course，真的很刺激很喜欢，好像在探险。最不喜欢的应该是拔河吧，有少少不满但是就算了反正也没太在意输赢。我们的组竟然能拿到Best decision奖。哈哈！真不知是哪里来的评论。挺喜欢队员的，互相帮忙，不分你我的感觉。最后虽然有插伤一点，但是个很好的体验，有机会一定会在参与。 Are we fighter?YES! Fight, fight, fight!Fight for Ur LIFE! YEAH!!! 我们是Team Fighter。

New Semester

        Waseh! Here comes my second sem now, juz moved to Setapak yesterday with family. Small fatty boy becomes so cute and more talkative even though don understand what is he talking about. Well, I have 2 roommates, my niece and a stranger. Although I don really talk to her and only knew her for one day, she is quite good for the first impression. The toilet door here cannot be locked! The lucky 1 is that we r staying in a master room, so we r having our own toilet to use. There are 8 people in the house, 3 malays which included 1 couple, two chinese boys beside our room and us. The environment is not bad but nid to be careful. I heard there are quite a lot of robbery case happened. Staying for one day i can roughly know wat i nid to buy for my daily activities, hope wont forget anything again.
        I'm having my first class today for this sem, the first subject lecture class gone well. We ( my fren and I) went to the tutor class and there was only one guy inside, luckily i asked him is he having the same class with us and he said no, the tutor class is cancelled usually in week 1. if i did not ask him, im pretty sure that we r going to be like 2 stupid sitting in other ppl class for an hour. Then we went to the cafeteria and have a seat to wait for the next class. Wow! It was boring until every1 feel so sleepy until my fren was going to close her eyes. He juz kept talking abt the definitions of the maths words. Only abt the last half an hour comes to the topic. But i wont deny that sometimes he makes me recall what i hav learnt in form 6, that's not a bad thing.
       What a good news is that we are two days holiday in week 1, can go home earlier than expected even though i can go back every friday if there is nothing for the weekend. Gonna meet my family soon. By the way, this year not sure going to celebrate CNY, kinda blur abt this. I heard mom said no but donno can wish ppl or not.
        Well, for this sem, i hope to be more active in activity. Going to join a camp end of jan, i still haven buy my shoes. Jia you la, hwaiting!!!
       

My New Class

     So fast finish one week. Meimei went back to Terengganu today but I can't go to the airport with her because of having class until 12pm. Time really goes fast without notice. Gonna wait her come back again until next year before CNY. Since that we are not going to celebrate it, so we are thinking to have another plan. I promise er ge and meimei to cook chicken chop for them, haha.....donno can or not. Later burn dy need mama's help to rescue.
   
     Finish my first week Uni life. have to drive to school every time having class. 8am class but need to go out 6 ++am to prevent traffic jam, soooo tiring~Luckily this thursday no tutorial can go back home early. French is really so difficult to learn. Troublesome but quite interesting. All the objects also got gender, even country also got, grammar used are different for different things. "The" also got masculin and feminin. Totally donno what the lecturer talking about when he speaks French. Haha....most of us juz laugh when it sounds funny. Wondering we can finish our works and test or not.
     
     Tomorrow Kinderworld is having their concert and graduation. I'm going to help since I haven move to Setapak. I want to watch their performances after our hard work to make it success. It's the night tomorrow after we paid so much effort on it. It is going to be held in SJK(C) Chee Wen. Concert will be start at 7pm but the teacher and students need to get ready and gather at 4pm. Sleep well tonight so won't be too tired tomorrow. Bonne nuit^^(Goodnite)

A Brand New Start~

          Wah......... Finally my turn to start Uni life. Wake up early and drive for around 30 minutes just to go there to register course units and buy my car's entrance sticker. Got my timetable for this weeks and nid to start my work dy. So dissapointed cannot take korean language, why clash with my class, japanese also full and finally gonna choose french. Thursday and Saturday nid to wake up very early, have to leave house before 7am, it's like going back to my form 6 wake up time, suddenly feel so tired. Tomoro nid to stay until 4pm only end my class. Having PMP next Monday, donno what to discuss.

       

          Make my muffin today but donno why doesn't look like last week. Really donno what is the problem, want to try again next time. Luckily the taste not bad juz a little bit sweet. =)

    

After So Long Din't Update Blog~

       YEAH! Finally my laptop is here two days ago. Thanks to my cousin who sent it to us. This is the first blog that i write using my laptop. Haha...something that buy it by urself with ur own money is really different. The laptop is quite big for me but nevermind, I'm pretty sure that it gonna be fine soon coz I will used to it when I use it for a time.
       Meimei got letter to UMT in Terengganu. We are going to fetch her there this Sunday. Going to overnight there. If need to see her, need to wait until October. I'm willing to get U too but it's in Perak. I MUST GET IT!This few weeks meimei went out a lot, donno went to pyramid for how many times already. Juz to buy things to U. She used up hundreds bucks to buy her things, shirts, toiletries........ I'm sure I'm gonna miss her no matter where I am. We have been together since we were younger.
       This is the last week working at Kinderworld. So happy can rest and sleep longer but no income. Thinking to find part time job after go study. Appreciate the moment stay at home now if I also study far away from home.
       There's quite a lot of gathering this month. Primary school std 6 class reunion and form 6 reunion. Actually I'm thinking about making secondary school friends gathering but afraid that can't make it. If it's possible, want it to be happen next year. I think the probability will be higher.
        Enjoy my last week working time~: )

New Life in 2013

      Working at kindergarten for 2 months already.These few weeks quite busy preparing for their sports day. Next week might be gonna busier because going to having practice every morning. I taught them one of the warm up song specially for the Mother's day. Start form next week I have to give the children reading early in the morning so that I will be manage to handle the sports game and counting their marks.
       We started choosing their concert songs. i'm going to teach some of the 6 years old children dance "starlight moonlight" and the primary care students another chinese song. maybe very tired but never mind. The 3 and 4 years old kids started learning dancing. 3 & 4 will dance "lion sleeps tonight" while the 4 years old kids dance ' gummy bear", quite funny. Shannah very cute when dancing and one boy that speaks cantonese looks funny when he is dancing. He can't speak mandarin and english fluently and need some time to think how to speak in other languages when we ask him. i have a "brother" in the primary care students. He just standard five but quite diligent. i always disturb or "bully' him but he is fine with that. Sometimes I think that he is cute and doesn't look like standard 5.
   
        Papa not here almost 4 months already. We went through it even though sometimes still think of it. Now become better and we are back to our lives again. mommy not thinking too much and DaGe come back or stay overnight when he is not working so that mommy can play with yu feng and won't think too much. He is naughty but always make us laugh non stop. he is a good actor because he has many different face expression. Kids are really naive.Love My Family sooo muuchh~

            今天发生了一件超不愉快的事。没有心情，早上本来好好的，结果却发生了酱的事情。我和妹妹....................出了小车祸了，还好无大碍。 而且对方还是警察呢，我竟然理直气壮地说我没错，真所谓问心无愧，不用去怕他。刚从大阪卖完糕以后和妹妹回家的，明明是三条lane，他转左应该是走最左边的，而且我都已经快靠近路口了，他竟然直接吃进我的路，结果太迟撒车就撞上了。幸好他们两夫妻还肯赔，要不然我一定把他骂到惨惨的。我们的车比他的车还严重，驾驶座位的左边门开不完，妹妹还得从我那边出去。后来打电话给爸爸，刚好他在附近。听说至少要RM800修车费。那个人的老婆还问我有没有speeding，拜托啦，我才刚拿驾照多久，不怕死啊。回到家跟妈妈讲吓到她了，不知道给二哥听了会怎样，都还没跟他讲。

              YEAH...........!!!! I finally bought reborn's file. Expensive, i used my book voucher to buy it. Donno is the god help me or what. Actually at first there was a balance money and i planned to buy the file, but it seems to have balance so we decided to buy a disc for mom and yu lun. But the expenditure was more than the voucher, so i decided to buy for them and sacrifice my file T.T When we went to do the payment, the cashier told me that there was some discounts for our textbooks and now i have the balance of RM 11.50. Haha, she asked me to go and get something again and suddenly the file appeared in my brain.I told my sis that i can get my file already. I ran up and quickly bring the file down to the cashier. That's what happened!! maybe it's because what we said,"好心有好报." Good!!
              Running man is not comingT.T but they said they might come too. Luckily, hopefully is after exam so i can go to the airport. Haha......

        Long time din update my blog. Well, i don't have much time to do so. Have to start study to get a good result. Now my physics report also haven done. Going to face March test after two more weeks.
        I'm very happy that she is fine and getting better after teacher told us about her situation. Hopefully she can come back to school as soon as possible. Although sometime she was impatient but she still good to us. She can play, smile and even having fun with us after the class. She just look serious when we were in the class. We know that she was trying to let us to be ready when the exams come.
       Someone told me something today, I appreciate your honesty to me. I won't deny what's in my mind but thank you. It just that I will not do anything before the STPM just like what I told you last year. Just see how after the exam and actually I din't think about those questions anymore because in my opinion is that I want to finish my study first for right now and I don't think that this kind of thing to be keep as a secret. I know you understand it and thanks again.
       We had discuss the camping in PD this morning. Well, I think that actually RM 150 is quite cheap for 3days 2 nights even though it's not that high class. But I think that is the time for us to play around among the friends especially in this year. This camping is carry out in 22 June and it is brother's birthday. I would like to buy something for him since I'm going out. Teacher said that there will be 3 apartment for 35 of us including teachers.About 10 people in each apartment, i think we won't go to bed so early, that is the time for us to talk, haha.......but lim is not going. I heard that if someone can't go, she might be invited. Great!Then we can play together. By the way, we also talked about the swimming suit in the class after the meeting. teacher said we might have some time to the swimming pool with t-shirt with pants until the knees. Then it will not be fun but what can we say? because few Malays are going too, no choice.
        Next week we are having a speech again by Unitar in the morning until recess. That a surprise given by lee xiang's brother today.He was the one who gave ceramah in this morning from Inti college. Just few of us knew about that especially me and sis. After he finished and there was no more questions to ask, he announced that he has a sister who was also with the sir name Teh. There is only one person with that sir name, so everyone looked at her with the face "seriously?", they were shocked except us because we knew about their relationship and we just laugh when we heard the announcement. HAHA......good surprise made by this siblings. Oh ya, there was a schoolmate from other class, he asked her about whether their sibling relation is true or not, and finally he pop out something unexpected statement. he told lee Xiang that her brother is handsome. Sis and me heard that in the class and i was shocked when i heard that. Her brother really looks mature and steady. My mom said he was a naughty boy and bully the weaker. Now he is a counselor, totally different.
       

              I finally passed my jpj test this week n i got my liscence. There is no one kow about this news accept sis . Ang juz know about it last friday when i told her. She is the first person that know it among friends. Finally i can drive to school next year. Meimei and I had planned to drive to school alternately by week or by month. Juz see how next year.
              I rely surprised that when i know about you. I'm upset actually. I juz said that why you didn't tell me about you and him. I was joking. I know you are happy and i also will feel the same thing for you because i care my friends. I still wish you everytime when you are with somebody. These feelings come from heart not from mouth or even message. But why are you think the other way? If you still have the same thinking, den i have no word to say. Juz good luck for you and wishes you. Sometimes you do hurt me when i want to talk to you but you juz ignore me and keep playing with her in school. Not only you but the others also. I dont mind because i care my friends and i always want to keep our friendship. However, i can feel that we are like having a wall between us this year. I try to break the wall but it seems like i couldn't make it.
I rely mean that. Hope you understand and wish you again. 我不知道你会不会看到。即使你没看到，我都不会说了，就让它过去吧................
           
           为什么总觉得友谊越来越难维持了呢？有时真的觉挺累的。。。。。
另外祝大家圣诞节快乐，merry christmas!!
           

失落的一天..........

    我今天好难过，而且也很失望。本来这一次有信心可以合格过关的，结果却........又不及格了，我想下个星期和妹妹一起去，但怕给她压力。可是我希望有人陪我，我也可以给妹妹鼓励呀。现在又要浪费钱，以为有把握，唉..............刚才哭过了，不过我不会放弃的。下次，一定会是最后一次。对！和妹妹一起通关，加油！！！我对她有一定的信心，加油加油！！！
     明天是最后一天上课，放学后去KFC庆祝Jen的生日，都没买到礼物叻，会补给她的，不好意思啦。

              Wah........long time don update my blod already. I get my results yesterday, and i failed my physics and chemistry. Not that disappointed, juz that i need to make it the best in my STPM next year. Time goes fast and i have to ready to prepare. I still got a lot of maths homework to carry on. I heard teacher said she wont be around for our classes for the next two weeks except next week friday. She had been chosen to become the ketua pengawas for the STPM in other school ( sek. 2).
              This week is a terrible week because so many getting to sick. At first is Lee Xiang, then me, now is meimei. She quite serious and having flu for days. Luckily now is better and she hav to get better because we hav to go visit bro in kampar tomorrow after papa sell the yamcake. Papa booked one room at the Fully-well Hotel in kampar so that we can stay 1 nite there.
Meimei, jia you lo!!
              Still got two more weeks and we are having long holidays, so good! I'm willing to wait for that day to come. By the way, my school is having one extra day for haji, no school on tuesday. Meimei and I planned to work during the holidays in nov and dec. But not sure yet, coz we thinking to hav tuition so see first.
              One more thing, why i can't upload my photos in my hp. Many pictures inside but i juz can leave it there. Computer shows something that i donno and the folders are empty. Tried many times still get the same thing. Totally cannot put or take out anything that i wan. Nid to buy a card reader see how.

JPJ Test !

               YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? failed again but now this time i failed my "naik Bukit", so angry and disappointed. I hate u hate u hate u, wont hav NEXT TIME anymore after my third time. I don wan to waste my money again.Arghhh.....
                Later got badminton competition, scared!

      What the.......so stress right now, Maths 1 still got a lot nid to do, very tired, even one month also can't finish.Few more weeks to go is our final exam. Hopefully can get "OK" results.

       Because of failed my driving, i attend the other two more hours for driving in shahbandar, and there is the other new way for "on the road" that hav to remember. But, for me, it is easier than the old way, less cars, roundabout with U-turn togeher n a lot of straight ways to go, sooo gooooooooodd. I LIKE IT but still hoping to pass on next monday.
   
       One more happy thing is the dancing is getting better now, i was worried before about the dance but now the problem is the costume, wat shall we wear? Haiz...tired of worrying

       Tomoro having celebration of raya in school, donno wat the teacher thinking?The chairs are placed very weird n facing a weird place(canteen), wat a "special" view for the performance tomoro, haha......I bought a new baju kurung ytd, simple pattern but not bad. Mine is full with purple flowers n meimei's with red flowers. I washed it today, den only i realised that the red one is nicer. Mum said two also nice n suitable for our age. Going to wear it tomoro. ^.^

    JUst finished my July test today, so scary, donno wat results i will get. Teacher said shecan gic us maths 2 results tomoro. Alll the papers are damn difficult. I always frogot the formulas. Sigh many time everywhere even at home also sigh. Mama said u sigh also no use. Ya, she was rite. Hopefully can get pass the tests, no A's i also don mind. Thanks God if i get a "ok" results tomoro. Cant regret the answers i gav, now juz see my luck.
   By the way, good luck for the acc n sej class.Wishes u all can get a great results as well. tomoro u all having PP. GoodLuck!!!

Stress stress stress!!! Now got a lot of things nid to do. July test is coming next Monday, hopefully can pass the exams as well. Sumore now still got PT6 work, especially upper 6 graduation nite.......I wan to make everything well and success. But i can't leave 1 thing n do the other thing. Donno wat to do now. Hav to finish my homeworks and PT6 organization chart. Gambateh....!!